While you were out...

An Armstrong/Durham/Johnston blog needs updating so I pick me. The undisputed heavyweight of the extended Johnston clan wordsmiths.

As you all know I have been existing Star Wars style out here in the colonies (THAT’S FOR YOU SAGIE BOY – ask your Dad he’ll explain the reference. Gudrun / Helen you may need help with that one too). But I digress. In fact I had grand plans while Betty was away cavorting about that place but digressing was about all that got done while I was with child. It seemed that the days ebbed into night and before I knew it I was having another feast of a canned delicacy on bread or toast if I had time to cook the bread (one night I even had a pita bread with two fillings). Once I had muddled through the early evening and packed the wean off to bed with a satisfied/stupid grin I realised that I had not planned for my own entertainment / meals (clean clothing etc).

So let me break it down (insert a MC scratch sound here ¯). I have tried to bring as much colour to this as our Ginger friends however there may be the odd patch of tan or beige mixed in (but as boowah and kaawla sing “If you take a splash of yellow and you take a splash of blue and mix them both together what colour do you get…..”).

Week 1: The week of the Granny

We Armstrong’s are closely related to the whirling dervish that is Taz . Through generations of procreation the fizzy gene has been diluted, tripled rinsed and spun dry. However a small piece of the all action, perpetual motion characteristic has grimly hung in there. The personification of this characteristic however is anything but grim. It arrived like a bad knock knock joke at the door on the Sunday after Betty scampered off. Quickly the house was knock knocked into shape. I had done the basics but as I soon found out I am way outta my league on the whole ship shape thing.

Vivien, Viv, Mum, Granny rolled into PBay and the 3 weeks started to count down. Mum was everything you could ever hope when the cavalry are called in (nae sabres). At the door to see me off to work and awaiting me slippers in hand, pipe lit and paper ready.

Day 1:
Molly and mum got on famously after they had made that each others buttons gave the appropriate reactions. Molly, after relenting and accepting that Granny held the upper hand in the ‘you must eat your breakfast, lunch etc’ stakes held on to the only form of resistance available to her. Toileting. Dourly she held on and held out and refused to ‘go’ even when deposited on the loo on every 15 minutes. She made her wee protest as often as her bladder would allow sprinkling decent around the lounge/kitchen/bedrooms. It was close to pistols at dusk but I arrived home in the nick of time. I dashed through the door (put on my slippers, lit my pipe and read the business section) and interceded. Much like the US in Iraq or the British in Northern Island progress was slow and beset by obstacles.

Day 2:
Peace agreement brokered and I again set of to the mines. You could say the rest is history. It was one thing after another.
Day 3:
Crayfish and scallops for dinner. The rest of the day I forget. Oh Granny and Molly went swimming. Maybe that is where the seafood came from.
Day 4:
Must have been the swimming as Day 4 proved to be the day where the two strong willed ladies in the house started to enjoy themselves. Molly broke her toileting fast and Mum just continued to be Granny.
Day 5:

An adventure to three medical appointments in 12 hours. All in different parts of the greater Wellington area. Granny was chief of entertainment and navigation, Molly was the client, I was a sea of calm under that stressed exterior. Admittedly this is one of the harder days for everyone even under the best conditions. Conditions were ideal so off we set. 7 hours, 4 coffees, 2 subways, 4 muffins, an apple juice, 2 litres of water, 2 bananas, 5 crackers with cream cheese, 2 accidents (no vehicles involved) and 6 albums of children’s music we arrived back at PBay. Molly asleep by 6.15 and lights out by 8.

Week 2 – Where are we going? Tall Mountain! Granny and Molly disappeared to Taranaki on Saturday am so I could paint the bathroom. Naturally I thought that this was an easily achievable task in the day and set out to prove it. Naturally I know nothing of painting and decorating other than where to buy paints and brushes so come Sunday morning when I was scheduled to head to Hawera to pick up Molly I was still touching up and washing brushes (actually I am still touching up some bits and pieces). Still the bathroom is now Chocoletto with a trim of white and I have a very happy wee wifey. In my defence a friend had a baby on the Saturday so I had whiskey to drink with the new Dad. Speaking of whiskey the ‘Linkwood’ is a nice drop Laughton.

Taranaki was grand. Weather was atrocious. Granddad and Trish were sick with the flu. Molly picked it up. Guests dropped in unexpectedly and Molly and I were bunking together. However I did get a whole day off when Mum took charge (she is a dab hand now) and played 9 holes of golf with Dad then headed up to New Plymouth to spend the night with some friends. One of the seldom acknowledged benefits of bad weather is that you are forced to stay in doors and actually catch up with folk. Visiting is a great tool to get out and about, some home baking and seek out those people that you never really do as you are at the park/beach/pool etc.

The undoubted highlight for Molly was feeding a lamb. The first thing she asked it (of course) was ‘Where’s Mary little lamb?’

I also got a haircut.

Week 3 – Nanny (our Nanny has better jewellery)
The third week was when I had committed to getting back to work. Mum was unavailable for a couple of these days so we tracked down a Nanny through some friends of ours. Our friends are pretty level headed so when they recommend this Nanny we jumped at the chance to meet her and let Molly meet her etc etc. Even after Meeting Ashleigh I was pretty apprehensive. Just an overprotective father I guess but let’s dace it how much can you trust a 22 year old with your little one? In this instance, tonnes. Ashleigh and Molly hit it off. Every night I came home to a happy, engaged, feed, etc etc Molly and every night Molly slept from 6.30 until at least 7. This is really out of character. One morning I woke her up as it was 8.20 and I had to be gone in 40 minutes and Molly needed dressed and feed. This could not have worked out better. It still took me 2 days to fully relax though.

There is something to be said for working off site. No annoying conversations breaking out all around you. No annoying phones ringing and ringing and ringing. You know no one is going to pop by to see you to discuss something and side track you for hours on end. But most excellently is that the café that is situated just alongside the library where you are working. By day 3 they figure out that you are the ‘short black and a small jug of hot water on the side’ guy. No ordering just an acknowledgement that you have arrived and they get it to you asap. Certainly makes you feel like a big shot.

Abba’s Arrival - Beth got back on time and on budget 6th of October. Molly and I were waiting with baited breath at Wellington Airport. There were tears and a ‘who the hell is this guy with the rug on his face’ semi-adoring look from Maddie for me. Molly dinnae want to let go of her Mama. Fair enough. I just had to get in line. Home, 3 loads of washing, dinner…(oh the glamour)

ps – Beth is not allowed to go anywhere without me for any longer than a week from now on.
pps – I am over the rugby loss now so it is safe to call…..